Learn more about our faith | Holy lives of inspiration
There’s an old story about a group of single men in a Bible study. After listening the gospel of the day, they got into a debate over which sister, Mary or Martha, would make the better wife. One insisted on Martha: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and she sure knew how to cook!” Another voted for Mary: “She was thoughtful, quiet and loving, I’d be happy with a woman like that.” Finally, another guy ended the debate: “I’d like Martha before dinner and Mary and her quiet after dinner.”
It’s funny, but it reveals something about us. We don’t want to choose between action and reflection, work and prayer, duty and delight, we want both, but on our own terms, when convenient. But Jesus isn’t simply making us pick one sister over the other. He’s inviting us into a whole new way of seeing what matters most.
Let me bring you to a different story, this one from history. In the 16th century, Michelangelo was carving his famous statue of David. He once said, “Every block of stone has a statue inside it, and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” Now here’s the thing: Michelangelo spent more time just staring at the marble than actually striking it with his chisel. Days would pass with him walking around, looking from every angle, thinking, waiting. Onlookers thought he was wasting time. But Michelangelo said the real work was in seeing where to chisel. The actual chiseling was the easy part.
I wonder if Jesus is saying something like that to Martha. She is chiseling away furiously, cooking, serving, organizing, but she has not stopped to see. Mary, on the other hand, sits at the feet of the Master, allowing herself to see the form, the beauty, the truth hidden in the block of marble that is Christ. And Jesus reminds Martha: “One thing is necessary.” It’s not that Martha’s service is bad; it’s that her eyes are not yet free to see the statue in the stone.
Now, many of us are far more comfortable being Marthas. We equate busyness with importance. We measure our value by our productivity. But busyness, unchecked, can become a way of hiding. Hiding from silence, hiding from the deep questions, hiding from sitting still long enough for God to speak. Martha wasn’t wrong to serve; but if her service is fueled by anxiety and resentment rather than rooted in listening, she’s chiseling blind.
The call of this Gospel is not to abandon service, nor to despise hard work. The world needs Marthas! But our service must flow from the stillness of Mary. Only then does our activity become love, not resentment. Only then does our service become sacrament, not slavery. So, perhaps the real invitation of this story is not: “Be Mary instead of Martha.” It’s: “Be Martha but be Mary first.” Learn to sit, to see, to listen. Then rise and serve with joy.
And if you ever get caught between the two, remember that single men’s Bible study group. Yes, you may want Martha before supper and Mary after supper, but Jesus wants you to be both: a heart that listens and hands that serve, a soul that rests and a life that loves.
And this is where today’s feast, Our Lady of the Rosary, speaks so deeply into the story. Mary, the Mother of Jesus, is the perfect harmony of Martha and Mary of Bethany. She was contemplative, treasuring all things and pondering them in her heart, yet she was also active, rushing to serve Elizabeth, interceding at Cana, standing steadfast at the foot of the Cross. Her life teaches us that listening and serving are not rivals, but partners in love.
The Rosary itself is this harmony made prayer. It is both work and rest. We speak and we listen. We move our lips while our hearts gaze on Christ. The beads guide our hands while the mysteries guide our souls. It is the school of Mary, where action flows from contemplation, and contemplation is grounded in love.
Mary, Our Lady of the Rosary, Pray for us.
Father Boby John, C.S.C., ordained a priest in the Congregation of Holy Cross in 2008, worked as a pastor and an educator with tribal populations in Northeast India for thirteen years. Originally from Kerala, India, Father Boby grew up with his parents and three siblings. He is a dedicated and detailed educationist with a Master's degree in Educational Management and is pursuing a PhD in Educational Leadership. He is currently working as the Co-Director of Family Rosary, USA, and as the chaplain at the world headquarters of Holy Cross Family Ministries, North Easton, Massachusetts.
