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A Mother Grows From Self Pity to Living in Reality

By: Guest blogger on June 10th, 2018

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A Mother Grows From Self Pity to Living in Reality


When I was a young Catholic mother, surrounded by a crew of little people, I was overwhelmed by the pressure to raise children who were not only faithful Catholics but polite, well-mannered, intelligent, well-read and socialized. I faced unrelenting chores day in and day out, with little or no time to even think of meeting my own needs. It was a good day if I managed to brush my teeth and wash my face hours after dragging myself out of bed in the morning. I felt sorry for myself.


A Mother in Self-Pity

Then one night, as I stood at the kitchen sink, with pain lancing my chest, I started to cry, sobbing silently as I tackled a mound of dirty dishes.

Exhaustion weighed heavy and my arms felt like a stone.

It was 11:00 PM at night. I should have been in bed …

My little ones woke up every morning so early.

I felt alone, disconnected from any support system —


In my mind’s eye, I could see a knife piercing my heart.

There was a name carved into the handle of that knife.

I strained my inner eye, expecting to see my husband’s name carved into the wood because it seemed like he did not support me as a mother of a large family.

I felt like he was in the wrong and I was the good one

Always trying my best to fulfill all my duties as a Christian mother.

Yet, I could not see my husband’s name carved on the handle.

I was determined to see my husband as the cause of my pain.

So, I tried to manipulate the letters, but I could not force them to spell his name.

The etched letters clearly spelled my own name.

The letters clearly said, Melanie.


My eyes opened wide and I literally gasped in shock as God managed to pierce through my self-righteousness in an instant.

His Truth pierced right to my core self,

Dissolving the knife and my sharp pain with it into an insubstantial mist.

I saw clearly

I was the architect of my own misery.

I was simply a dramatic self-made victim,

Acting like a pitiful scapegoat.

An inner switch flipped.

God’s truth set me free to see reality.

Misery slipped off like a useless rag.

God Taught Me How to Be a Mother

The mountain of work I had been carrying on my shoulders was suddenly thrown into the sea by a mustard seed of common sense


There was no mountain except in my self-pitying delusions of martyred grandeur.

Then, I was filled with self-depreciating laughter, which cut through my stress.

The Spirit of Truth and Joy had finally cut through my self-pity.

I realized

Christ is the only sacrifice who can save from me.

If I am humble enough to realize I cannot exist as an island, then I accept that I cannot do it all on my own.

I can only live in joy as a child of God when I am wholly dependent on Him for everything.

I can only be an effective Catholic mother when I live as a child of God.

Copyright 2018 Melanie Jean Juneau

Image Copyright: Pixabay(2017), CCO Public Domain

This article was originally published at CatholicMom.com and is shared here with permission.