Complexities and Contradictions - Family Reflection Video

What comes to mind when you hear the name Judas? Most of us think of betrayal first. Judas betrayed Jesus. Judas struck a deal with the authorities. Judas is the one who sold Jesus out.

The second thing that comes to mind is a sense of relief. The disciples gazed at one another, uncertain which one was the betrayer. "Lord, who is it?" one of them asks, but they all want to know. It could be any of them, judging by their uncertainty and question. When Jesus gave Judas the piece of bread, I'm sure Peter and the others breathed a sigh of relief.

Did you ever sit in a class knowing the teacher would call on someone and hope it wouldn't be you? Have you ever been called to a meeting after something went wrong, and the boss said, "Who...?" and everyone looked around? Have you ever been in a situation where you knew someone would be named and picked and you held your breath, hoping it was anyone but you? And do you remember that sense of relief when it was someone else, not you? And you said to yourself, "Whew, that was a close call."

The only time we hear about Judas in the scriptures is at the end of the story. It is well known that Judas betrayed Jesus at the end of the story, but what about Judas at the beginning? Would you want someone to say a single event defines who you are, who you've always been, and who you will always be? No. But that's what we've done to Judas, people in our lives, and sometimes even ourselves. Nobody is made of just one event, not Judas, you, or me.

Judas' name appears twenty times in all four gospels. Nine times, he is identified as the traitor who betrays Jesus. And nine times, he is identified as one of the twelve, one of the chosen, a disciple.

What did Judas feel the day he was chosen and numbered among the twelve? How did he feel when Jesus called him? What were his dreams and hopes? In Jesus, what promise did he seek and follow? What was entrusted to him?

Indeed, he was entrusted with something. It's easy to forget that side of Judas. There is always an entrustment before a betrayal. It is impossible to betray unless you are given something to betray; love, friendship, trust, confidence, responsibility.

A promise or a call always comes with a risk of betrayal. Every promise is made and accepted with the risk of not being fulfilled. Gifts are given with the risk of not being opened, returned, or thrown away. It's not either/or. It's both at the same time. Before Judas was ever the betrayer, he was an entrusted one. Aren't we all? We've all been entrusted with something, and we all carry the risk that we might betray that entrusting.

That's the story of Judas. It's our story too. He is an image of ourselves. He holds before us the tension between trust and betrayal, a tension that lives within us and a tension within which we live.

Don't make this into a judgment, good or bad, right or wrong. Just recognize the complexities and contradictions that constitute our lives, that constituted Judas' life. Let that inform and guide how you want to live.

One last thing about Judas. Like the other disciples, his feet were washed. Jesus loved him as much as the others. With all the complexities and contradictions of his life, he had a seat at the table with Jesus. And so do we.

• Today’s readings

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