At the age of 24, young Charles Borromeo faced a crucial choice. He came from a rich and powerful noble family. As the younger of two sons, he had been set on the path to the priesthood a few years earlier. But in this crucial year, his older brother died, leaving the noble title and wealth to him, and with it, the family expectation that he would forego the priesthood, marry, and produce sons to carry on the family name.
Charles instead chose to forego title, fortune, and family and continue on the path to priesthood, a decision that would impact not only his life, but also the entire history of the Church, as he soon would take the lead in implementing reforms dictated by the Council of Trent, the Catholic Church’s response to the Protestant Reformation. Later in life, Charles Borromeo, then Archbishop of Milan, provided guidance for Catholics in Elizabethan England who faced their own life-or-death choice between their Catholic Faith and their obedience to the queen.
When Jesus speaks about having to hate mom and dad, wife and kids, brothers and sisters to become his disciple, He’s not encouraging us to take the initiative to be controversial or destructive.
Would You Choose Jesus?
He is demanding that we take seriously the possibility that we will have to choose, choose between our Faith and other significant loyalties. Charles Borromeo had to choose between family expectations and his own sense of vocation. Catholics in Elizabethan England were forced to choose between their beloved Mass and their popular monarch.
These are hard messages to hear at a ministry dedicated to family unity through prayer. But some of us have experienced the hard reality of loved ones — parents, children, or grandchildren — who have walked away from the Church or rejected some significant teaching, and who then perceive our continued loyalty to our Catholic Faith as a rejection of them.
Embrace Possibility of Family Unity
While their interpretation is not true, still we are faced with a choice about who and what our true priorities are. For that is the meaning of “love” and “hate” in Jesus’ expression: what we choose, what we prioritize as our highest value, our deepest loyalty. Now, it simply cannot be the case that the same Lord who commands us to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us is now calling us to reject and despise our family members.
He is calling us to embrace the real possibility that family unity in prayer may not always be a harmonious constant; at times, it is prayer in tearful perseverance and hope for family restoration and family reconciliation in Him.
