How do we stop “keeping score”? I mean, how to we stop, change an attitude that really does us harm?
It’s that bickering that happens between kids when Mom asks one to take out the trash and Johnny says, “MA, It’s Joey’s turn. I did it yesterday”… The constant squabblings of someone who thinks he’s being treated unfairly over something that’s not really so important. It’s a pain in the neck for parents to have to keep hearing it, and they try to instill another attitude, but have we adults really learned something different? How often I’ve talked to spouses who can’t let go of complaining about some flaw in their spouse – maybe indeed something insensitive the other does… “Why does he always do such and such… Why doesn’t she see and understand… That becomes “It’s UNFAIR”… The observation may be correct BUT THE ATTITUDE OF KEEPING SCORE IS REALLY HARMFUL. It may be something small but it can fester into something bigger and bigger and what could be a good marriage degenerates and love gets blocked! With the restrictions now and many more families spending so much time together it’s getting hard for some couples. This limited sense of justice as keeping score doesn’t work. An eye for an eye --- AND EVERYONE WINDS UP BLIND!
Jesus wants to teach us, to GIVE US a much bigger understanding of Justice… God’s Justice which is filled with Mercy! In this parable we need to have our eyes on this KING! The servant comes with his debt of 10,000 talents… It’s a huge sum, now it would be millions… exaggeratedly huge to shock us into another way of thinking… by at the same time appreciating the unimaginably huge Mercy of the Father, and the enormity of debt paid in our stead by Infinitely Worthy Son, Jesus… All the servant has to do is recognize his need and ask forgiveness. This parable is first a love story, God wanting his mercy to flow into us -- to break us out of egotism that only leads to our destruction, as we see in case of the wicked servant.
It is not that God is blind to what we call unfair, unjust… but His love, His Mercy is bigger, and it changes and heals by love and not by keeping score. Acting with Justice and Mercy together is a lot wiser: you see there are often much better solutions to confrontations than to be always butting heads! By God’s GRACE you can be the one to swallow your pride, say you are sorry and start to reconcile, EVEN WHEN YOU THINK THE OTHER PERSON SHOULD DO IT FIRST! By God’s grace you can keep on loving even when it’s hard… not keeping score. By grace you can keep loving the ones you love UNCONDITIONALLY. That’s the love that keeps growing, and is life giving, unto Eternal Life.
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Father Jim's inspirational homily was recorded live this morning during Mass at the Father Peyton Center. Please view the video on our Facebook page. (You don't need a Facebook account to view.)
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