« back to all posts

Navigating Judgment in Relationships: A Family Reflection Video

By: Father David Marcham on January 19th, 2021

Print/Save as PDF

Navigating Judgment in Relationships: A Family Reflection Video

Learn more about our faith  |  Love thy Neighbor

Being a priest is a wonderful experience for many reasons; one is the brotherhood we share along the way. The other day, some of my priest-brothers here at the Father Peyton Center were kidding me about my stories that come from talking to people at places like the gas station or coffee shop, or grocery store, which remind me of different readings that we hear at the Mass.

 

 

But with the restrictions, everyone including myself, basically just goes about their business as quickly as possible and then retreats to the safety of their car.

In today's gospel, the Pharisees have also chosen to make a retreat to a strict interpretation of the Mosaic Law (and its additions). In their hasty judgment of the disciples of Jesus, they condemn them for violating the Sabbath's code of conduct.

But, Jesus quickly steps in with a strong message not just for those present but also for us. Jesus is in tune with the disciples' needs. He understands their weariness and hunger from their travels are what lead them to pick those grains of wheat as they followed him.

This is what prompts Jesus to remind the Pharisees of when David and his companion's hunger led them to eat the bread of offering reserved for the priests. Jesus is making the point that he will not neglect his disciples' physical needs on our journey.

The Pharisees (for whatever reason) have lost touch with the plight of their fellow human beings. And, this causes them in their exuberance for justice to leave out what Jesus also teaches, and that is charity for one another. Jesus knows when to reprimand us to set us straight, but He always does it in love.

Like a wise parent, grandparent, or even older brother or sister, aunt or uncle, we are called to size up the situation in our homes, especially with the younger family members, but not exclusive to them.

If we are truly following Jesus, then we, too, can learn to avoid snap judgments. And instead, as St. Paul says, be patient enough to take in the whole situation, trying to understand the "why" and not just the "what" is going on with a family member or friend.

Believe me; I know this isn't always easy. On some days, we can be tempted to be judge, jury, and executioner on the spot. But, this is where we need to turn to Jesus for guidance and grace.

Of course, Jesus wants us to follow the Ten Commandments. But, he also wants us to temper our sometimes hasty reactions when people fall short.

By talking it out first before condemning one another, we can better help someone in need. Hopefully, you've experienced someone showing the care of Jesus when you've been weary and hungry, whether it was physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

My brothers and sisters, as we hope, work, and pray to get back to the lives we want - Jesus message of keeping the Sabbath holy and caring for one another will help us all - both to continue our journey with Jesus and to bring along others; who knows maybe even a few people we meet at places like gas stations or coffee shops.

May God bless you and your family this holy day!


  • Father David's inspirational homily was recorded live this morning during Mass at the Father Peyton Center. Please view the video on our Facebook page. (You don't need a Facebook account to view.) 
  • To view Rosary prayer and Mass streaming live, please visit our Facebook page at 11:30 am EST, Monday – Friday. Please invite your loved ones to join us too! (You don't need a Facebook account to view.)

About Father David Marcham

Reverend David S. Marcham is the Vice Postulator for the Cause of Venerable Patrick Peyton, and Director of the Father Peyton Guild, whose members pray for Father Peyton’s beatification and spread his message of the importance of Family Prayer. Prior to becoming a seminarian, Father David was a physical therapist and clinical instructor, serving hospital inpatients and outpatients throughout the greater Boston area for eleven years. In 1998 he heard the call to priesthood and was ordained in the Archdiocese of Boston in 2005. Father David grew up in Quincy, MA, and has fond memories of playing soccer, tennis and running track. You’re never without a friend when Father David is around, as he welcomes everyone into his circle with a smile on his face!