Our Lady of Sorrows: Patient Perseverance

During Lent 2023, I started an adventure with a special writing project about Our Lady of Sorrows.

As part of my Lenten practices, I prayed one of Mary’s Sorrows for each day of the week, which was so convenient since there were seven of them! That practice continued post-Lent, as did my writing project, and I still pray one of the Sorrows (most!) mornings. 

Each of Mary's Sorrows has its own inspiration, as we see how the virtues of our Blessed Mother shine through in the most traumatic moments of her life. Knowing how Mary continually leaned into God and trusted Him despite tragic circumstances helps me to try and do the same when life becomes dark and feels hopeless. It's also very comforting to know that I have a Mother who desires to console me and can understand what I'm experiencing when I face deep loss and grief. 

The sorrow I find myself resonating with most at the moment is the Seventh Sorrow: The Burial of Jesus. Mary's unwavering trust in a moment that seemed so hopeless encourages me in those situations in my own life that seem impossible to resurrect. Mary surrendered to God's plan without knowing all of the details. Mary trusted even though her heart was shattered watching her beloved Son be tortured and die. Mary laid down her own will as she watched Jesus' body be laid and sealed in a tomb. And in a great act of trust, Mary walked away from that tomb, not in despair, but carrying her pain in quiet perseverance as she waited on whatever God revealed would be next.  

In the Waiting

Waiting is hard. It is especially hard when we are waiting for God to redeem pain and brokenness in our lives or in the lives of those we love. I can't say that I always wait on God with Mary's quiet perseverance and trust. I sometimes find myself in a pendulum swing dangerously close to despair. When I'm in that dark place, I'm struggling to find hope and believe that God can or will resurrect the brokenness in my life. I'm doubting His goodness and His love for me. Those doubts can get pretty loud in my head and the more I focus on them, the more they grow (and grow and grow) so that they are the only things that I can think about. My fear and anxiety drown out God's truth and light. 

Just as the tomb wasn't the end of the story, our own struggles don't end in the darkness. God is always with us and will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8), even if we can't feel Him at the moment. As Sister Miriam James Heidland said on the Abiding Together Podcast, we need to "accept the fragments" God sends us daily. While God certainly could, (and it would be amazing if He would!), fix our pain and trauma in an instant, that's not usually the way He works. Rather, God sends us what we need one fragment at a time.  

Trusting in God

As we learn to look for and accept the fragments He sends, God teaches us to trust Him and turn to Him in our emotional poverty. As we gather the fragments that God always sends-things like a Bible verse that touches our heart, a song that speaks to our pain, a spouse or friend that wants to sit with us in our brokenness, a book that consoles us, a bird or a butterfly or a flower that is meaningful to us, or in any way because God is God and He can use anything(!) — it lets a little bit of light push back the darkness that we are feeling.

As we collect the fragments and more light and hope come in, we are able to return to our stance of surrender and waiting with patient perseverance, just like Mary teaches us.