family prayer | The-Rosary-In-Our-Hands
In my life, I haven’t always been close to Our Lady. In fact, even though I was usually all in for pretty much every youth group event, when they began the Consecration to Mary during my junior year of high school, I just sort of hung back … I didn’t get it. I couldn’t understand the need for a Mother in Heaven who lived a life so incredibly different from mine. I had a great relationship with my earthly mother and with Jesus, so I just didn’t feel a need to embrace a spiritual one.
I had this image of her in my mind … you probably know the one I’m talking about; it’s usually the one we see on Christmas cards. The beautiful 20-something woman with perfect hair, flawless skin, looking so quiet and peaceful, hands delicately folded in prayer. Perfect. It was so far removed from the mess I saw when I looked in the mirror.
Understanding Why I Needed Mary as My Mother
It took another 13+ years for me to really understand why I needed Mary as my Mother. About a year after my fifth child, I entered into a very difficult season of life that sent me into a dark place that left me doubting almost everything I believed. Over the span of 11 months, I lost three little ones right in a row. Each miscarriage was further along, more medically complex, and the recovery more drawn out. The third little one we lost at 17 weeks which meant that I had to actually go to the hospital, be induced, and deliver him. These losses left me in a very dark place. I couldn’t imagine how a Father who was supposed to love me would ask me to endure such suffering. Wouldn’t a loving Father answer the cries of my broken heart?
I wallowed in this darkness for over a year and a half, still believing that God was real, and that what He said was generally true, but that for some reason all those verses about His love and faithfulness just didn’t actually apply to me. In my anger and depression, I all but gave up prayer completely. I was still going through the motions, praying at meals, attending Mass every Sunday. I bargained that if I kept up my end of this deal, the Lord would have to let me into Heaven and I’d finally get to hold the little ones I ached so deeply for.
An Invitation to Prayer
Eventually, the Lord began to break through my silent treatment. He sent Our Lady into the darkness of my depression to come rescue me. Talking to her was easier than talking to God. She wasn’t the one I was angry at. She is a gentle Mother. She didn’t demand that I stop giving God the silent treatment and get my act together. When she found me in this wilderness, she simply invited me into the life of her Son through the mysteries of the Rosary.
She invited me to walk the Way of the Cross hand in hand with her through the daily Rosary. And on that road, I found the companions I needed, both saints who have carried their crosses along this road and people in my own life who taught me what it looked like to suffer well, to find Our Lord on this journey, and in doing so, to experience joy even under the weight of a cross.
The Way of the Cross is the Way of the Rosary. As we walk on this road, I found a true Mother. Here, she wasn’t that unrelatable 20-something-year-old. She was a road-weary, dirt-stained, blood-soaked mother! At last, this was a woman who I knew understood me and the mess of my life. Here, under the weight of this cross, I found the Mother I never knew I needed. And through the years that followed, she walked with me, hand in hand, and led me back to the heart of the Father.
Venerable Patrick Peyton, known as "The Rosary Priest," devoted his priestly life to encouraging family prayer, especially the Rosary. This October, for the Month of the Holy Rosary, Family Rosary (an apostolate founded by Father Peyton) and Catholic Mom have teamed up for this daily series dedicated to the Rosary.
About the author:
Shannon Wendt is the founder of ChewsLife.com whose mission is to help people create dynamic lives of prayer through practical tools and engaging resources. She and her husband Zach (founder of CruxInvicta.com), homeschool their 8 kids and enjoy traveling together, drinking too much coffee, and being outdoors. Shannon also launched a Rosary community for women TheWayoftheRosary.com which provides daily content for your Rosary reflection, as well as monthly community events and quarterly retreats!