After receiving my First Holy Communion, I was absolutely certain about one thing: I wanted to be an altar server. Not just any altar server, this was the Syro-Malabar rite, where serving at the altar isn’t just about lighting candles, ringing bells and wearing a cassock. No. It’s a full-on liturgical performance. We chant responses, recite prayers loudly, and lead the congregation through a liturgy that’s as beautiful as it is long. The altar server is also a lector, a cantor, a leader of the people in prayer. They lead chants, offer liturgical exhortations, lead penitential rites and sometimes feel like junior deacons-in-training!
Facing the Test
So, full of excitement, I showed up at our small parish church, ready to be robed and recruited. But first, came the “test.” In front of the catechism class, the pastor, and the ever-formidable nun in charge of religious education, I was asked to read some liturgical prayers aloud. Let me tell you: I’ve never felt so small. My knees trembled like palm trees in a storm. My voice, usually energetic at recess, barely made it past my lips. I choked. I whispered. And I stared at the floor, praying for the Holy Spirit to descend and take my place.
The nun, with the mercy of a schoolteacher and the precision of a drill sergeant, said gently, “Maybe try again next year.” But the pastor leaned in and said, “You can still help set up the offertory, and carry the incense.” In that moment, he opened a back door to belonging. I couldn’t lead yet but I was welcome to serve.
Grace Doesn't Discard
Today’s reading from Acts of the Apostles reminds me deeply of that memory. The early Church was having its own altar server selection moment. Gentile converts, outsiders to the Jewish tradition, were coming to faith in Christ, full of excitement, ready to be robed and recruited. But some Jewish believers insisted: “First, the test. Circumcision, dietary laws, and a crash course in the law of Moses. Then, maybe, you can belong.” Essentially, they were saying “Get it all right first, and then we’ll talk.”
But Peter, bless him, didn’t bring a theological thesis. He brought a testimony. He told the story of Cornelius, a Gentile who received the Holy Spirit without passing through any of the expected rites. And then came that bold, liberating question: “Why put a yoke on their necks that we ourselves couldn’t bear?” Translation? “Why make it harder for them than it ever was for us?” I think Peter had a twinkle in his eye when he said that. Because he knew what it was like to fail the test, to sink while walking on water, to deny Jesus when it mattered most. And yet, grace didn’t discard him, it re-enlisted him.
Sanctuary for the Broken
And maybe that’s the message for us today. The Church is not an exclusive club for the flawless. It’s a sanctuary for the stuttering, the stammering, the shy, the shaky people like me, whose knees knocked in front of a catechism class.
I wasn’t ready to lead the liturgy that day. But someone found a role I could step into. That act of grace became a door. I walked in unsteady, unsure, but I walked in, and I stayed.
Opening the Doors Wide
So, whether you've failed the test, whispered instead of proclaimed, or feel like you're still in the back row of the choir, remember this: you still belong. God doesn’t wait for us to be perfect. He just waits for us to say yes.
Let us be people of open doors and wide arms, like that parish pastor who looked past my performance and saw some potential. Because if there’s one thing we learn from reading, it’s this: grace doesn’t test. Grace welcomes. The Holy Spirit is wild. He falls on people with shaky theology, uncertain voices, and hearts still learning to trust.
Be a side door for God’s grace.
- Father Boby's inspirational homily was recorded live during Mass at the Father Peyton Center this morning. You can view the Mass (and the Rosary at the 30-minute mark) on the Family Rosary YouTube page.
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