Holy Women's History Month: Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross

I saw Legally Blonde when it came out in theaters with my cousin. I was just about to turn 13, so seeing a PG-13 movie, especially without my parents, was a big deal. The lasting impression it made, however, concerns femininity. 

As an adolescent, I felt a tension between my identity as the “smart one” and my love of traditionally “girly” things. I loved wearing dresses. I loved pink. I was curious about makeup. And I read voraciously. My room was filled with books. I earned good grades and enjoyed school for the coursework, not for the social aspects (that would come later). 

Could you be smart and pretty? Could you love books and lacey dresses? Legally Blonde said the answer was “yes,” and I was here for it, though it took me years to really believe it. Eighteen years, in fact — when I discovered Jewish convert, philosopher, and teacher Edith Stein — later the Carmelite, martyr, and saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross — and her Essays on Woman. 

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What It Means to Be a Woman 

I grew up in the ‘90s, when girls frequently heard, “Being a girl doesn’t mean you can’t like playing with trucks!” Too often now, however, children and adolescents are given a one-dimensional definition of femininity and masculinity and told that their bodies are wrong if they don’t comply. Edith Stein’s writings on women are more needed than ever. 

Edith earned a doctorate in philosophy but could not work as a professor because Jewish women were not allowed to do so. As a single woman in a male-dominated profession, she spoke beautifully about femininity and both physical and spiritual motherhood. She believed that women are needed in every part of society and especially in the Church and in the home. And she believed that there is no one career path that is right for every woman but that a woman will enrich any occupation with her feminine genius. 

I never thought being a woman was an obstacle to a career. I did, however, struggle to reconcile my love of intellectual pursuits with my love of physical beauty. When my husband and I started talking about getting married, I was convinced I wanted a simple ring. Fortunately, he knew better and worked with the jewelers to design a beautiful (though not ostentatious) engagement ring out of diamonds that had been his mother’s.

When I went dress shopping after we got engaged, I thought I would get a simple dress, no train necessary. Instead, I got a gorgeous ballgown-style dress that, I believe, matched the beauty of the old Raleigh cathedral where we got married. (I also found a long veil made with Alençon lace, the kind of lace Saint Zélie Martin was known for making.) 

Finally, I was comfortable with my own style of feminine dress — the kind that’s a little more ornate than I previously thought I needed in order to be the humble, intelligent woman I aspired to be. What’s more, I understand that not every woman needs to dress that way in order to be feminine. Edith taught me that we are all feminine because of the gifts God gave us as women, not because of the way we dress. There’s no one way to express your femininity through clothing, but clothing can be a way to express your unique femininity. 

Waiting on a Vocation 

Because my husband designed my engagement ring, I had several months of waiting between when I knew he’d started ring shopping and when he actually proposed. It had taken us a couple of years of dating to get to this point, and that was after I’d spent most of my 20s single. I was very impatient, but remembering Edith Stein’s story and praying for her intercession helped me wait. 

Edith wanted to become a Carmelite as soon as she converted to Catholicism. However, she was advised to wait; her conversion had already saddened her mother, and her spiritual advisers felt it might be too much for her mother if she also became a nun. In the meantime, she taught and lectured, collecting the talks that eventually became Essays on Woman.

I learned from Edith that God never wastes time. My 20s gave me my profession as an editor and writer and saw immense spiritual and personal growth. While, of course, I’d have loved to have met and married my husband earlier, God used that time for my good and, ultimately, my work. 

Intercession Is Powerful 

"Edith Stein is one of my heroes and someone I look up to, but I’m not sure I really have a prayer relationship with her,” I told my husband recently. 

“What are you talking about? You said you prayed for her intercession for your book!” he responded. 

“Duh,” was my intelligent reply. 

Since I started writing, I’ve been praying to Edith Stein that it serves God’s purpose. The words flowed out. 

And I believe Edith’s intercession has been powerful. 

Edith taught me to leave my days, my work, and my vocation up to God. It’s a challenging, day-by-day process. I don’t always trust Him like she did. I don’t always offer up my tasks and my sufferings like she did. But thanks to her example and her intercession, I’m learning! 

During Women's History Month, Catholic Mom writers are celebrating the women who have inspired their faith journeys — whether canonized saints, saints in progress, or beloved women from Scripture. Through personal reflections and heartfelt stories, they share how these holy women have touched their lives, offering wisdom, strength, and a deeper connection to God. Join us as we honor the spiritual legacy of these remarkable women and the lasting impact they continue to have on our hearts and souls. 

Copyright 2025 Taryn DeLong
Images: Holy Cross Family Ministries