When Joseph realized Mary was pregnant he wasn’t sure what to do. The angel assured him that he should take Mary as his wife but what would this birth mean? How was he to father this holy child?
For years I prepared first time pregnant couples to have their infants baptized.
Although it should have been obvious, it took time for me to realize that the pregnancy was not all about the mother.
In our programs we asked each parent to write down their feelings and concerns regarding the child about to be born. Then they were to share these with their spouses. After a while the couples were free to share with the group. Each couple found they had completely different concerns.
Moms were worried about the birth, their parents and their bodies. They also feared they would not really be able to care for the child, and would their husbands be able to share the responsibilities.
Dads were concerned about finances; how would they make it while mom was out of work, and would they be able to pay for childcare. They also feared their wife would be so involved with the child that they would be forgotten. Already everything was about the mom and they more or less played second or perhaps third fiddle.
It’s nice to hear couples today saying, “We’re pregnant!” It makes it even more obvious that this is the creation of a new entity … a family.
The mother shows in every way that a new life is on the way … but let’s remember that each child has a father with his own feelings and concerns.
May couples be able to honestly share their individual concerns with each other and establish this as a habit. May grandparents also be attuned to their need to support the couple relationship just as much as they support the new infant.Read More