Holy Women's History Month: Blessed Virgin Mary

When my oldest child was a senior in high school, we embarked on the college admissions process. It was the first time for us as parents, which, no doubt, made it a more difficult experience for everyone in the family. Despite the arguments and difficulties of launching into college, my son has since grown into a kind, responsible, self-sufficient adult with whom I love spending time. 

Being a May baby, he was always a smidge behind the other kids. In high school, when others were excitedly researching schools, going on visits, and later applying, he gradually became a deer in headlights. We didn’t know what to expect or how to manage this. When we were younger, our parents either didn’t care if we went to college or left us to handle it on our own. It worked out. We both hold degrees. We naturally expected the same from our son. He did not deliver.  

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The Spiral Down 

We fell into an unfortunate habit of nagging. We knew the steps he needed to take. We prodded. We talked about potential schools and majors. He had nothing. One month he wanted to play soccer in Europe, another month it was medical school. Other times, it was a big unknown. We encouraged him to use his school’s resources to learn about colleges and careers but when we followed up, we learned he didn’t. Frustration grew. 

Sunday afternoons became the fighting time. We tried to direct. He shut down. We were determined not to do the work for him. We knew other parents who applied on their child’s behalf or micromanaged them into it, and those kids often ended up moving home after a semester. Our thought was that if he couldn’t pull it together, he likely wouldn’t go. No one liked that possibility. 

When I reflect back on that time, I’m disappointed in myself. I could have done better. He and I would get so frustrated at each other. The other kids knew to stay in their rooms at those times. It was unpleasant. 

To Mary 

One day, after a particularly irritating exchange, I reached out to Mary, and in my frustration and desperation and, frankly, feeling I was failing my child, I gave him to her. 

Mary, he’s your son too, and likely, in your perfection, you love him more than I do. I can’t do this anymore. I’m failing and he deserves better. I have to step away. Take him. He’s yours.” 

It felt like a prayer of despair. I couldn’t help my child through this important process. When we tried to talk, I got mad, and he got defensive. It wasn’t good. 

The next time my husband brought up the subject, I told him I’d tapped out. I said I needed to take a break and give it some time. I told him I had given our son to Mary, and I had to be done for a bit. I felt irresponsible, but in giving him to her, I also felt peace. I knew in my heart that our good mother had this under control. My boy was wrapped in her mantle, and it would be OK.  

My son enrolled at a local two-year college, and that year the pieces began to fall into place. He connected with a kid he met on a parish mission trip who loved the small, Catholic college he went to in North Dakota. My son got excited. He did some research. He and my husband drove out there for a tour and he loved it. He did what needed to be done to transfer there for his sophomore year and he was happy. It was the right place and just as importantly the right time.  

His three years there were wonderful. He met great friends that he still has. He got his degree. He played division two soccer. He learned and he grew. He wasn’t the only one; I learned that each kid has his own timeline, and it may not be what I expect, but it’s ok. I also learned, more importantly, what a wonderful mother we have in Mary. She took care of my boy but she also helped me learn how to be a better mother myself. I’ve since gone to her many times with issues I need help with and in times I need comfort.  

By the way, the school he attended is the University of Mary.  

During Women's History Month, Catholic Mom writers are celebrating the women who have inspired their faith journeys—whether canonized saints, saints in progress, or beloved women from Scripture. Through personal reflections and heartfelt stories, they share how these holy women have touched their lives, offering wisdom, strength, and a deeper connection to God. Join us as we honor the spiritual legacy of these remarkable women and the lasting impact they continue to have on our hearts and souls. 

Copyright 2025 Merridith Frediani
Images: Holy Cross Family Ministries