The Mysterious Rosary

The first time the Rosary crashed into my life, I was helping with an event at my parish. One night, I felt God telling me to pray a Rosary every day until the event. I’d never prayed a daily Rosary, so it seemed like a big ask. I did a quick count of the number of days remaining: a Biblical 40 days. My response was not the immediate fiat of Mary. Are you sure? I asked God. I attributed this to an overactive imagination.   

The next day, the request returned. I decided to go for it. I launched in and quickly learned that a daily Rosary is work. I wasn’t great at managing the prayers and meditations and hadn’t memorized which Mysteries went with which days. There were even a few Mysteries I needed to look up because I wasn’t sure what they were. I got through it, and we had a successful event. Then I stopped...

There was a nagging feeling I should keep going, but I pushed it to the back of my mind and heart. I just had too much work and was way too busy.  

Three years later, the Rosary returned. I was in a period of uncertainty and question marks, not sure what my future held, and confused about my next step. A friend showed me a video on observing the Marian month of October by praying a full Rosary (all four mysteries) daily. It takes fortitude. I was intrigued. I’d recently had a prayer answered thanks to Mary’s intercession and I was high on the joy from that.

I accepted the challenge. I could do this. My days were long.  

The Design of Providence

Four Rosaries a day is a lot. I quickly learned that I am not able to sit quietly, meditating for as long as it takes, even if I spread them out. I took to pacing around the living room while I prayed to help me keep my focus. During that month, I received two big writing opportunities from out of nowhere. It couldn’t be a coincidence; I am told that St. John Paul II once said, “In the design of Providence, there are no coincidences.” I was flabbergasted and ecstatic. I continued with the four daily Rosaries in thanksgiving for these blessings.  

Then I stopped. I went through phases of praying a Rosary, and most days, I alternated with times when I wouldn’t. Over time, I said fewer and fewer.  

Recently, the Rosary reappeared. While planning a vacation with extended family, I had qualms. I love my family, but like all families, we have some disparate personalities. I decided to pray a 54-day novena. I didn’t know it included a daily Rosary. I can do this, I thought. I have done Rosary marathons before. This time, I had a regular prayer practice, so inserting a Rosary wasn’t hard. I quickly learned that I needed the Holy Spirit’s help before I launched in every morning to avoid falling asleep. The Holy Spirit is a reliable helper, and I soldiered on.  On the final day, I put down the rosary beads and felt good. Graces abounded on that vacation, including near perfect weather. It was a gift.   

Pray Without Ceasing

Then, again, I stopped. I arrived home with a head cold and a sense of sadness. I missed spending good time with my people, and re-entering the life I love was hard. Before long, I was a raw bundle of emotion and aggravation. My husband wisely asked if I was still praying the daily Rosary.

I admitted I’d stopped after the novena. Clearly, that was a mistake. That night I started again, and within two days I was back to my regular joyful self. I loved my life again. 

I’m keeping it up now. There is something mysterious about the Rosary. When I pray it, I feel good—better than good. I feel close to Jesus and my family and friends. I feel spiritually energized. But I wonder: Am I praying it because of how good I feel, or am I praying it out of the love of God?   

If I stopped feeling good, would I keep it up? I think — Yes! One of the many things I adore about our Catholic faith is the myriad of “tools” available to assist us in our journey closer to Jesus and heaven. The Rosary is one such tool, and as I reflect on its presence in my life, I notice that, over time, Jesus has been inviting me to encounter Him this way.  

There are other devotions that are just as beautiful that I don’t feel drawn to. I realize as I write this that the Rosary has been stalking me all my life, beginning in first grade when I received my first one. Now, I have rosaries stashed around the house, in each car, and on my office desk. 

Perhaps it’s not a transactional thing at all. Instead, Jesus is drawing me closer to Him, and I’m experiencing the fruits of my yes to Him. May is another Marian month; perhaps Jesus is asking you to meet Him in the Rosary, too. I promise you He is a patient teacher, and if you stumble, as I did, He will still be there waiting. He is so good.