Waiting, Wishing, Hoping, Praying

As a young adult Catholic, I experienced many moments of keen awareness of my singleness. I have vivid memories of watching old married couples sitting in the pew in front of me and thinking, “How on Earth do I get that?!” I would watch husbands and wives work together, teaching their small children how to genuflect, respect Jesus, and develop awe in Church. Where was the playbook to make this happen? In the modern era of declining religion and increased moral ambiguity, it seemed like an impossible puzzle to solve. I longed for someone who would accompany me to Mass, chat about the homily, and share prayer. 

During college, I dated some young men who called themselves Christian and even Catholic, but time and again it became obvious that these were more labels than deep identities. It was hard to hold onto the hope that I could live my faith fully in relationship. After one particularly wrong relationship, I felt God speak to me that I would, in fact, have a husband to pray the Rosary with one day. Yet, week after week, I continued to sit in the same empty pew, trying to blend in on my own, with no sign of my Catholic Prince Charming in attendance. I even joined a rosary group with some side intentions in the process. Never cease to hope, right?  

Choosing to Wait in Hope 

This hope in prayer protected me from several compromising decisions, as I waited for what was right. For several years, I began to feel peace that God willed a Catholic husband for me, and I mostly put relationships out of my mind. This desire was no longer a desperation or fixation, but a hope I had entrusted to the Lord to fulfill. I was focused instead on starting a career and attending graduate school. I attended a seminary which trained a small group of lay ministers, alongside many clergy, and the odds were certainly not in my favor of finding a relationship there. Nevertheless, I had retained a sense of peace for what had been promised to me in prayer. 

Fast-forward a year, and I had indeed met my Catholic match. An aspiring lay minister like me, he was at last someone to join me in the pew at Mass. I remember praying about this relationship and still hearing the Lord say, “Hope in the Rosary.” Not quite understanding what the Lord meant, I prayed many Rosaries, hoping for signs and clarity. 

A Hope Fulfilled 

It was Valentine’s Day that year when I finally received my sign. It was a normal Monday, which meant a full day of work followed by night class. There were no expectations for even a nice dinner on this particular night. As class got out, there stood my date, who said he had a surprise. We walked a few blocks from our school to a park known as The Point, overlooking Lake Michigan. Although it was a frigid Chicago night, I did not seem to notice the gripping winds or well-below-freezing temperature. We sat down next to the water on some boulders, where he started a monologue about how holy it felt to be in our relationship. Holy. 

  
Then, even more shocking than a ring, he pulled out two rosaries and asked to pray with me. At each Mystery, he had written a reflective prayer about our relationship and how it applies to that Mystery. The First Luminous Mystery recalls the Baptism of Jesus, and so he prayed about our own Baptism and vocation toward marriage, becoming one before Christ, and creating holy mischief as one. He continued throughout the Mysteries in sincere prayer.

There sat a sobbing young woman who knew for the first time that her hope was not in vain. God, with great clarity, fulfilled His promise.  

Hope Does Not Disappoint 

Today, my husband and I still have our rosaries from that night, and they have been worn out with many prayers for guidance, hope, and peace throughout the twelve years we have been married. They have been a source of conflict resolution as well as courage and consolation. We have learned throughout the years that hope is not a human feeling, but a deep faith sustained only by our Lord in prayer. Hope is asking Christ to carry us until better times, and to guide us until we can see with clarity for ourselves. 

As we take our children to Mass each weekend and walk side by side in ministry throughout our weeks, I smile with a deep knowing that hope does not disappoint.  

For the Jubilee of Hope, our writers reflect on prayer as a source of hope in their lives.

Copyright 2025 Megan Cottam
Images: Holy Cross Family Ministries