Breathe Deeply in the Rosary

At the dawn of 2018, I experienced my first-ever panic attack. I was nineteen at the time, helping a student at my college campus writing center, when the chest-tightening, heart-pounding, head-spinning began. I felt fear seize my senses as I pushed back from the table, excusing myself to the restroom. Safely inside a stall, I fought for breath, squeezing my fingertips into my legs. What was happening? 

Weeks later, at my first of many counseling sessions, I realized what had overcome me: a panic attack brought on by overwhelming anxiety, and unfortunately, it wasn’t the last time I would encounter one. The harsh reality is that anxiety, panic attacks, loneliness, and many other mental crosses afflict our young people today, even those with a rooted faith in the Lord.

I was no exception as I struggled with my sense of purpose and self-worth away from my family for the first time at college, struggling as a brand-new adult to discover my place in it all and come to terms with all the unknowns before me: friendships, career, vocation, hobbies, and mounting adult expectations and responsibilities. Being a young adult isn’t easy, as countless pathways call to us for attention.

Finding Silver Linings

The silver lining in the darkness? In addition to counseling, medication, and healthy lifestyle decisions, my joy was the prayer of the Rosary with my mom. Whenever I returned home for college breaks to be once again with my family, my mother and I developed a tradition of praying the Rosary together at home. We would alternate—one beginning, “Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus,” the other finishing, “Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”

It became a peaceful tradition, and in particular, I resonated deeply with the childhood and early life of Jesus as presented in the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary. My scattered thoughts about my own move from childhood to adulthood brought me back to the memories of a loving childhood with my family, as Jesus would have had in the company of Mary and Joseph, as well as the comfort found in praying the Rosary along with someone else. As the months passed, I grew in confidence to face this new life transition from child to adult.

In time, I began scribbling notes and short prayers that would come to mind after the Rosary prayer with my mom. I began to imagine myself as the people in the biblical stories. I started writing little reflections on how each of the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary touched something in my own life. I started writing little alternating declarations for peace that could be recited before each Hail Mary.

Finding New Purpose

By 2020, without my even realizing it, I had the draft of what would, in 2021, become my debut book, Breathe Deeply: The Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary as Invitations to Peace, independently published on the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary, October 7. 

Little did I know how the prayer of the Rosary would help me not only to breathe deeply again, but to discover a beautiful call God had placed in my heart to write and publish books and help others do the same. The prayer of the Rosary has led me and my mom to visit three Marian apparition sites: Knock, Fatima, and Lourdes, and has been a beautiful blessing in my writing life and in my journey into the peace of Christ, which surpasses all understanding.

What call might the Rosary help you uncover?  

Allison Ramirez owns Trinity Tree Publishing, a small business dedicated to helping authors write, edit, and self-publish their faith-based books.

She is the author of The Rosary Invitations series and The Divided Kingdom series. She holds a B.A. in English (with a focus on Creative Writing) and an M.A. in Theology (with a specialization in Church History).